When one goes around looking for training and self-improvement, one may notice that most courses and training programs contain a topic on Self-Awareness. You see this in Emotional Intelligence workshops, Counselling skills training, leadership seminars and sometimes, even in success workshops.
Self awareness is the first weapon in battling denial.
It is denial (of one’s failure and losses) that causes a gambler who is actually losing in the casino to experience that he is still winning.
It is denial (of her broken marriage/relationship) that makes an abused wife stay with her ‘macho’ husband (I say this degradingly for the guy) for years and years only to be beaten up every day in the name of love and sacrifice.
It is denial (of anger) that drives a peaceful guy to get a knife and start stabbing people out of pure rage.
All these social problems and psychological disorders begin with the person rejecting parts or big chunks of their reality. I have counselled numerous parents who insist that their children have problems; not knowing (or accepting) that their children’s problems came out as a reaction to their dominant and insecure parenting. They can have their children counselled all they want, but if they (the parents) don’t accept their faults, then permanent change is impossible. A client cannot really outgrow their problems, even with the best of counsellors around, if they are in constant denial of what really is.
With self awareness, the gamblers can see that they are going through a losing streak and stop. The abused wife can see that she made a wrong choice in marrying this guy and see that she has a choice to move on from this relationship. With self awareness, the peaceful guy can realize that he has a lot of stored anger in his psyche that is just waiting to explode – only then he can do something about it.
Self awareness is the road to self acceptance, while self-acceptance is the road to active coping and the road to a meaningful and effective life. This is the reason why self-awareness (and acceptance) is always one of the primary goals in counselling.
A psychologically healthy person knows their own feelings and accepts the events in their reality. In this way they can effectively adjust and cope to their environment and stop putting the blame on helpless others.
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