The Problem Within

In Solution Focused Therapy, we spend a whole load of time assessing the problem of the client. This is because every treatment plan, being unique for every case, depends wholly on the nature of the problem. As I tell counselling students, one can spend their careers dealing with suicidals but never once will you find a case exactly as the other.

Counsellors do not give advice because advice are external solutions. Much like if the problem is money, then the solution is money. However, in counselling, we are trained to deal with internal issues. This is why we rarely deal with external or superficial work arounds.

A physical problem has to be dealt with physically. If you cut yourself with a knife, there’s very little meditation and counselling can do to stop the bleeding and infection. (Well, besides calming you and slowing down the blood flow.) On the other hand, should you feel guilt from rejection or failure, then there is also very little medications can do. Use medical techniques for medical problems and use psychology for psychological problems.

In the same way, we cannot rely on external solutions for internal problems. If you always have relationship issues because of your rigidity and perfectionism, then changing friends or partners will not work. If you cannot hold a job because of the lack of resilience, then there is little changing jobs can do for you. The cycle will just repeat itself as none of the conditions changed.

If your problem seems to be following you around then there’s a big chance that the problem lies within you. There is very little advice can do. If the problem lies within you, then there’s nothing much consultants and friends can do. Counsellors can help you pinpoint the problem within you and help you confront it so that you can get rid of that trait or habit that is costing your relationships and your happiness.

I am here to say that the cure for poverty is not money. Countless cases have I seen of people going back full circle to their state of poorness. Even lottery winners who possess internal problems lose their winnings to go back to their penniless state.

Poverty is an internal problem. Money alone, which is an external agent, will not solve it.

Happiness too is an internal issue. Changing your environment won’t lead you to happiness.

Internal issues should be dealt with internally. If your problem seems to be the people and the world around you, then you are that problem (or that you are carrying the problem). It’s much cheaper to change oneself than to change the world.